While we were in Deer Valley, we stayed at the Stein Eriksen. The first day we were there, we knew we were amongst big wigs because there were three black SUV’s full of security personnel. As we drove down the road to breakfast, there were also two Blackhawk helicopters that had just dropped off a different big wig, and basically because we were guests….we were allowed access to this very exclusive event.
The Stein is really nice, but it was very clear that something was going on, because you have never seen a staff more polished and perfectly cued as this one. The hotel manager, Dan, never left the hotel. And as I saw him scuttle around to make sure things were perfect at all times, I guessed he was beyond anxious — but I never saw him sweat.
Come to find out, there was a conference going on of “powerful minds”. I guess so, since we walked past George Lucas — and he wasn’t even who all the fuss was over.
So on Saturday, the kids and I were going to spend the afternoon hiking Deer Valley mountain and swimming in the pool. Just as we were walking in that direction, I realized the lunch portion of the conference was getting out. So in an effort to keep my wet kids (from our balcony’s hot tub) away from these conference goers, I had them wait with me on a bench at the base of the stairs where everyone was descending. While we sat, Scout and Icka wanted to go get an apple from the reception area. I was a little apprehensive, but I told them if they walked quietly and said thank you, that they could.
Three long minutes later, Scout walked back with his apple. I asked where Icka was, and he didn’t
know. I told him to wait there and I went looking — crossing my fingers that she didn’t
make any sort of scene.
No such luck!
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The Stein is set up with individual 8-room units around the porte-cochère. At the beginning of each unit, there is an outdoor half stairway up, and another down. Once you go up or down, there is a door that goes inside to a series of four rooms. There is also a laundry room on each level, and an indoor stairway that you can use between the floors.
We were in the third unit, bottom level and back left room. it was beautiful and had an amazing view of Deer Valley Mountain. Definitely, my cup of tea.
It was clear that the “big wig” was staying in the first unit. There were four black SUV’s and anywhere from 10-15 secret service agents at any given time. They stood just outside the half stairs, and had ear pieces and hand units. They were a sight to see, and clearly meant business. There was a motorcade that went along with it all, and I was certain it was either Romney or Obama in there. I finally found out who it was — I didn’t recognize the name (which is why I don’t remember it now), but it was apparently the “Joint Commander in Chief”. I guess he is the leader of all things military, and basically is the puppet master to the president. I guess that is kind of cool.
So back to the apple — I went to find Navy, and one of the valets said, “Are you looking for your daughter? She headed that way.” And then he pointed directly at all of my secret service buddies. Once I got there, they were all business, but told me she had walked down the half stairs. I replied with, “Well, I hope whomever you guys are trying to protect isn’t as naughty as the on I am trying to protect.” I got a few half smiles, but they were good at keeping their composure. Or maybe my joke was just lame!
They allowed me to walk past them down the stairs, and I came upon the scene of the hotel manager — remember Dan? — calling out, “Hey, anyone in here?” He was walking frantically all over the place looking for Navy because he had seen her walk in, and knew that she wasn’t in the right place — since this entire unit was basically in lock down. After looking everyplace possible, and coming up with NOTHING, he ran up the stairs to where the “Big Wig” was staying. He asked everyone in sight if they had seen a little girl wandering around. Nobody had, so he went back out to the secret service guys. He asked if she had come out — and they said she had not. As I was following this scene, I was so annoyed at Navy. That girl was so out of control, it was amazing. But I was a little mystified myself. There was nowhere else she could be, and she was nowhere.
I finally went into the laundry room and checked the dryers, as Dan started opening up every room with his key. She wasn’t in the dryer, and he had checked all four rooms downstairs — nothing. He headed out again in a panic, as almost 10 minutes had passed since her disappearance. While he was gone, I went over to one room that hadn’t closed all the way. As I pushed the door in slightly, I immediately saw a half eaten apple on the desk right past the door. Dan came back in completely stupefied. But I said, “Hey Dan, I don’t want to go into someone’s room, but I am pretty sure she is in here — because I found her apple.” He basically ran into the room, and called out, “Is anyone in here? Hello….is anyone here?” I then said, “Her name is Navy.” So as he was frantically looking around a room that had a bed full of mens suits and ties, he called out, “Navy….are you in here?”
“I’m in here.”
It almost sounded angelic it was so sweet. He looked over to see Navy, in the hot tub resting her chin on her hands. He almost had a heart attack when he saw her. I did too. How did this girl get past what might arguably be the best security in the world, and head into a random hotel room and get into the hot tub? I could have killed her.
(Reenactment in our hot tub a few minutes later)
Meanwhile, Dan ran to the bathroom and got a towel to pick her up. The relief was oozing from him. On top of trying not to disrupt the conference or big wig, I think he was genuinely worried that she was going to turn up injured. (Do you think I was mom of the year when I said, “Dan, she will turn up. Don’t worry about her, she will be just fine.”) When he got her out of the hot tub, he started to say, “You are three, I have a six year old…..” I didn’t even hear the rest, but quickly interjected that I was sure that Dan’s six year old didn’t sneak away and get in another person’s hot tub.
He handed her to me, and I followed him out of the unit to reach the secret service. By this time, everyone around was wondering what had happened, so all eyes were on me. And then the biggest body guard of them all, a huge 6′7″ black guy turned and said, “Where did you find her?” And Dan said, “In your hot tub.”
The entire group of very serious and protective men all started cracking up. And then I walked by with Navy in my arms and said, “She was just looking to take a dip.”
Needless to say, I didn’t even get her in trouble because I was laughing too hard. Do you think it is weird that I wished I had my camera? I made her repose the way she was in the hot tub, because it was honestly THAT classic.
Dear Navy,
You have skills. I do too. You might think that since you can get past the Secret Service you are big time. Dream on. I invented getting past the Secret Service. Thank you for being a great protege. But you will never be better than the master.
Love, Mom
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