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Hostess Police

When we got to Outback Steakhouse, it was packed. There was something like a 25 minute wait. But when you have your heart set on a cold, crisp salad…you wait. leave it to Pippi to police the hostesses on every name they call. She watched our name move up the list one by one, and reported back to us regularly on the progress. I would have pulled her back, but the hostesses were amazed at her tenacity…and actually found her adorable. Like the time they were trying to find a person who hadn’t shown up after their beeper went off, and Pippi said, “Well…they missed their turn. Who is next?” They were all cracking up. Finally, we made it to the top of the list, and Pippi squealed with delight when our buzzer buzzed. And the best part — when the real hostess let the protege walk with the kid’s menus to pass out! The rest of the night, as any of the real hostesses passed our table, they would all wave to Pippi..and then Pippi would give us the rundown on who the best of the best were.

Denison Amazing Race!

For Christmas, Bree gave us the raddest present of all time! We opened buffs, and a personalized Amazing Race game for us to do around where we live! Honestly…it could not be a more perfect present for us! We waited until we had a free day to take the race on…and today was the day!

We fairly picked teams — it was Mom with the boys, and Dad with the girls. I was excited, but the stinking kids all thought dad would win..so I got a few grumbles. We then got our buffs — we were team yellow. The losers were team red. Then Micah opened the box up, and we got our set of clues.

Scout, Dash and I tried to figure out clues along the way to Harbor House — which we solved really fast.

Each location, we had to take a picture or video. WE solved the rest of our clues, and made a huge circle around Dana Point and the surrounding areas. We ran down to Salt Creek, we stopped at the Denison’s current and old house. We were on FIRE! Then we had to go to my house on Morning Dove. The guards at the gates are gnarly — and this is how we KNEW we would win!!! I took the back entrance, and knew enough to talk myself in. UNTIL…I happened upon the crabbiest lady on earth! I finally ditched her, and drove to the front gate and got right in. We lost a little time, but there was no way they got in as easily. The final destination, after every other clue was complete, was Basking Robbins (Micah’s first job) — where Bree gave us $20 to spend. We were so pumped up on our win!!!

AND THEN….we turned the corner into the parking lot…only to see Micah’s stupid car parked in front of the ice cream shop.

We were dying.

And the cherry on top (pardon the pun), was that they were already sitting and licking. Micah was so proud, as the girls bragged up a stinking storm! Micah told me he had called the Jordans to get into Bear Brand, and they called him right in. Are you kidding me!!! And that grouchy lady was the difference maker.

As we drove off, Micah had “We are the Champions” blasting on his radio, while the girls snag it loud and proud. Poor Dash, who got caught in the wrong car!

Thanks Bree.

It was a total blast!

Mexi-NO!

Megan and her family were visiting Dana and Jake across the border, so for New Years, we decided to surprise them and join them!

It was a short two days, but we had a really fun time.

We swam, raced go carts, lit off fireworks, played games, ate good street tacos (where a man was arrested four feet from Navy), and celebrated the New Year.

We got out of town a bit early to avoid the back up at the border.

Never….will I EVER do this line again! It was over five hours to get out!

About two hours in, when Micah realized he was going to wet his pants, and we didn’t have any sort of container or bottle to use in the car…he decided to run down a little stairway to go to the bathroom in a disgusting ravine. Not 15 seconds after running down, one of the salesmen trying to hawk glittered Jesus statues ran after him…and moments later, a “policeman” ran down too. I honked to alert Micah, but about three minutes later, Micah came up with handcuffs on, with his belt and top button undone. I yelled out at the policeman that he had a family in the car, and to leave him alone, and the policeman yelled back, “No pee pee on the sidewalk” and walked on with Micah in cuffs. The poor kids were all stunned. Pippi started crying, Dash was silent, Navy was in shock, and Scout just stared out helpless. I turned back and said, “Everyone…say a prayer.” Those four children folded their arms and bowed their heads quicker than I have ever seen them! It was a pretty sweet site from my rear view mirror.

Meanwhile, another salesman (they are literally ALL IN THESE CON JOBS TOGETHER!) came and told me what I needed to do to get him out. He was telling me that there would be a $300 all cash fee. I told him he was out of luck, and I would be surprised if I could scrounge up five dollars. He was pretty nice, and wanted me to park my car and leave the kids to go and get Micah. I told him he was dreaming…and that I would take my kids wherever I went. He agreed, and had me park, and we all walked into Tijuana as a family holding hands. He walked us about 1/4 mile away to a Police truck with a shell on the back. They took me around to the back door, and when they opened the first door I saw Micah behind another chained-link door. I asked him if he had any sort of plan, and he told me to take the lead, but to make sure to get his phone they took, back for him. So I asked for any cash he had. He said he had $68, but I told the guy we had $40. He walked me over to the “boss”. Inside basically a storage unit, the boss sat behind a single desk. He said he needed the money, and I gave him the $40. He then started arguing with my Mexican friend who had walked us there, and said he had heard $68. He wanted it ALL! I was holding the wallet with the full amount and didn’t want to get found out, so I quickly wrote on my phone and showed it to my buddy, that I was trying to tip him some cash for helping me out. My buddy talked to the boss in Spanish, and “defended me” (more like told him that they would ultimately get it all). He agreed to the $40, but I told him I wanted the phone first. He held out the phone, so I grabbed the phone and dropped the cash at the same time.

We finally went back to the truck, and they let Micah out after over an hour of being detained. He checked out his phone, and it all looked good. We finally walked back to our parked car, I tipped my buddy (who told me all about living in the U.S., but getting kicked out multiple times for crimes he had committed), and he got us back into the traffic jam. Amazingly….we got back in four cars ahead of where we originally were!

Have I ever said how much I HATE Mexico?

Not the Cancun Mexico…the one that is an hour and a half away!

I HATE it!

But boy has it given my kids the paterial for wild stories to everyone they come in contact with! And “No pee pee on the sidewalks” is an hourly phrase in our household now!

Handsome Chef

My mom’s favorite thing of the whole week, is when Micah puts gel in his hair. She swoons all day long over his great hair! And as a special treat to her, he keeps it in all day long for her. Today…he surprised her even further, by staying in his nice church outfit to cook. I literally think my mom thought it was Christmas all over again!

She helped him put on her apron, so he could stay spic and span while creating a hot pastrami sandwich feast.

Meanwhile, Dash decided to look his best, while he downed his own feast of Mac and Cheese.

The only difference between these two cool dudes…Micah didn’t end up with a bright yellow/orange food ring around his mouth after eating!

Skylar’s Homecoming

Skylar gave the best homecoming talk today!

Here is a peak into what was happening from our road:

Pippi had my phone…and captured every non-reverent moment we oozed!

Dot To Dot

A few years ago, I got my kids this awesome dot to dot. But they aren’t easy…at all! I challenged my kids and Grant to each complete one today, and three hours later they were all finished! I couldn’t believe that each kid stayed with their dot to dot as long as they did! Each had a different major city, with city view and famous landmarks.

Scout chose Rio.

Navy had NYC.

Scout had San Francisco.

Grant had Paris…and they all dominated!

Each earned their own oyster with pearl inside to open as a prize! We used Micah’s pearl prices from Christmas Eve…minus one zero! The best part…Seth said he would pay Grant’s pearl…and he got over $200! Dash won $120, and I was bummed on that! Poor Navy got $15. And even poorer Scout got $1.50.

Makeup 101

In college, I took the greatest theater makeup class. This picture of my final just turned up, and people have threatened to use it as blackmail. I tell them to threaten away…because I hit that final out of the park!

ROOOAAARRRR!

Scout’s Slide

Kid Made.

Kid Approved.

By Scout and Dash respectively.

The Swindler

Somehow I came across Scout’s name under the “fingerprint” section of my phone. Meaning…he has gone in and added his own fingerprint to get access to my locked phone. Who knows how he did it, but he is ridiculous! When I saw him next, I said in a sassy voice, “Hey Scout…you think you are so slick! Your fingerprint and name are now off my phone!”