While pregnant with Scout, I had indigestion every single day and night. I don’t mean relatively light indigestion…..I am talking my eyes watered, my arms would tingle, my mouth would salivate and I would wake up out of a deep sleep with this indigestion. When I was about 9 months pregnant, Micah came in one night and said, “Babe! Something is REALLY wrong with me. It is like a major amount of food is stuck in my throat and burning it.” After watching him hold his throat with both hands and lay on the bed in a soap operaish/dramatic way, I told him he had indigestion. To which he was appalled at my cheapening his ailment by suggesting to him that it was what I suffered through daily. He actually said to me, “BABE…..THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE EVERY NIGHT! THERE IS SOMETHING REALLY WRONG WITH ME, AND YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS. NOBODY COULD LIVE THROUGH THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS!” So I replied with, “Babe…….you let me know when you are sleeping soundly and your mouth fills with acid that has been sitting in your throat and you have to run to the bathroom to vomit it up. Then I will feel somewhat sorry for you. Until then…. buck up buttercup!”
Fast forward to this morning. Micah comes to the couch where I am sleeping (due to pregnancy…not a fight!). I am completely in la la land and in the middle of a great dream when I hear in a much louder voice than should be allowed early in the morning…..”Babe! Wake up…..what IS this?!!!” He then proceeds to show me his arm, the back of his thigh, and his back. I honestly couldn’t see a thing, so I asked him what he was showing me. He said, “Don’t you see this rash? It is all over me.” And then like his life flashed before his eyes, (he might have even had a tear) he asked rhetorically, “What is this?!” (as he swirled around and plopped himself on the couch at my feet.) — Drama –
I told him that rashes just to take care of themself most of the time and to just ignore it. He fought me in disgust on that one. (I won’t even go into his recent ingrown toenail that he nursed for an hour every night for a month. Had he listened to my advice of — just leave it alone and it will go away — just imagine the hours of his life he would have back.) So this morning, as I told him to leave it alone, he was distraught. After ten minutes of him trying to figure out where he got his rash (uh…duh…Panama?!), I told him to take his baby down to the pharmacy and have the pharmacist recommend something over the counter. He looked at me like I was psychotic and said, “Scout….no way! I have to be quarantined until this is all taken care of!” So I rolled my eyes, and helped him load Scout Master in the car, and off he went. Before he left I asked him for a piece of paper so I could write a note to the pharmacist. He wanted to know what it was going to say, and I told him I was going to ask the pharmacist if it was the popular “Karma Rash”?!
I will update if there are any really serious problems, but until then….no flowers or “get well soon” cards please. Feeding his drama is the LAST thing I need!
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