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My mom has to get surgery tomorrow, and there has been this palpable tension over the last few days.  I haven’t quite figured out what it was all about until this morning.  My sister Megan called and talked to my mom.  During the call my mom started laughing, so afterwards I asked what was so funny.  She told me that Megan was the third person to ask who was taking her to her surgery, because they all wanted to make sure it wasn’t me — how rude!  I thought it was funny that Tristen was taking off work, Trilby is coming home early from her job, and even Micah’s name has been mentioned for some pitching in, but I have never been asked or even told about the surgery in the first place! (I heard it through the grapevine) 

Apparently it all stems back to three years ago.  My mom was getting a different minor surgery and I was elected to take her.  Because it was minor (she defends it with, “but I still had to go under!”), I didn’t think it was a very big deal to go into the hospital with her.  And instead of having to go through the hassle of getting a ticket, driving through the whole parking lot, and then waiting in the long line of cars to go out….I just pulled a fast U-Turn and dropped her off on the sidewallk outside of the hospital.  I thought nothing of it until I came home a few hours later to ridicule, mean phone messages and looks of disgust by everyone.  Whoops, I guess I should have gone in.

Everyone thought I had learned my lesson on being compassionate, until a few months ago.  I was taking my mom to a doctor’s appt. and found that the whole area and parking structure was under construction.  I turned around and went to an adjacent parking lot where she could walk to her building.  When we pulled in she looked at me and was silent.  I asked her if it was a problem if she just walked, and to my surprise she got out, started closing the car door and said, “YES”!  Whoops, I should have gone in.

So I guess I am lucky???  At least I am off the hook for taking her anymore.  But does she really want Tristen to take her?  Last time Tristen had her, she made my mom write out her will on a little piece of paper she scrounged up….and had it “witnessed” by two other patients waiting to be admitted.  Interestingly…Tristen ended up with everything.