For Lindsey’s 31st birthday dinner, she went, as she likes to say, “out of the box”–the cereal box that is.
First, we started with dessert. Pat made a delicious pineapple upside-down cake–Lindsey’s second in as many days–and we devoured it instantly.
Once the cake was sufficiently settled in our stomachs, we moved to the main course which was both a meal and an event. But not a bit healthier than the cake.
To end all childhood debates, we created the first-ever Sugar Cereal Bowl. The competition that would determine once-and-for-all which Sugar Cereal is the greatest.
The six judges were selected from thousands of candidates; each possessed a sensitive palate and an iron stomach–or so they claimed. Each judge had two bowls, one spoon, and a selection of milks that included 2%, skim, and vanilla soy. In each pairing, judges could eat as much of each cereal as needed to determine their favorite of the two. Excess milk and cereal would be deposited into the Junk Bowl between rounds.
16 cereals were separated into two regions and four divisions, the pairing selections for the 1st round were selected randomly as follows:
Wheaties Region
Tony the Tiger Division
Honeycomb
Apple Jacks
Sugar Free Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Cocoa Puffs
Count Chocula Division
Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch
Froot Loops
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Chocolate Lucky Charms
Special K Region
Snap, Crackle, & Pop Division
Trix
Reese’s Puffs
Cap’n Crunch
Fruity Pebbles
Honey Bee Division
Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
Lucky Charms
Cookie Crisp
Cap’n Crunch Berries
Divisional Semi-Finals
The competition got started in the Tony the Tiger division, as Apple Jacks beat Honeycomb by a unanimous 6-0 vote, and Cocoa Puffs narrowly defeated Reduced Sugar Cinnamon Toast Crunch in a 3-3 tie breaker (Lindsey’s pick won).
In the other half of the Wheaties region, Froot Loops beat Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch by a 4-2 margin, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch easily defeated Chocolate Lucky Charms 4-1 in the Count Chocula division.
The toughest division appeared to be Snap, Crackle, & Pop with four strong contenders–including both of Lindsey’s pre-competition favorites, Reese’s Puffs and Fruity Pebbles. Reese’s Puffs defeated Trix 4-2, and in the upset of the competition, Cap’n Crunch defeated Fruity Pebbles 3-2.
Apple Cinnamon Cheerios somehow snuck into the Honey Bee division (named after its sister cereal’s mascot), but there would be no nepotism here. In back-to-back landslides, Lucky Charms defeated Apple Cinnamon Cheerios 6-0 and Cap’n Crunch Berries defeated Cookie Crisp 5-0.
Divisional Finals
By the time we reached the divisional finals three of the six judges had relinquished their positions. Calin, Trilby, and Tristen had all dropped out due to stomach ailments, taste bud numbness, or any of another dozen excuses that none could back up with scientific evidence. Only Micah, Lindsey, and Skylar remained to determine the Sugar Cereal Champion.
In the Tony the Tiger division, Apple Jacks destroyed Cocoa Puffs 3-0 to earn its place in the Wheaties regional finals.
In the Count Chocula division, Froot Loops smeared Cinnamon Toast Crunch 3-0 and earned a trip to the Wheaties regional finals.
In the Snap, Crackle, & Pop division, which was suddenly wide open, Reese’s Puffs narrowly defeated Cap’n Crunch 2-1 and saw its way to the Special K regional finals where it would meet Cap’n Crunch Berries who had waltzed into the regional finals with a 3-0 victory over Lucky Charms.
Regional Finals
The regional finals were both heated battles, worthy of all the pre-taste hype surrounding the event. Froot Loops was the first to reach the Sugar Cereal Championship by defeating Apple Jacks 2-1 in a fierce battle that was not without its share of controversy. Rumors of judge tampering ran rampant after Skylar appeared to change her vote to match Lindsey’s; slow-motion replay could neither confirm nor deny the accusations so the results stood as reported. However the voting process would be changed to a blind vote for the remainder of the competition.
The Special K regional final was an epic slugfest. Cap’n Crunch Berries defeated Reese’s Puffs 2-1 setting the stage for the long-awaited Sugar Cereal Championship.
Championship
The Championship was a battle of cereal heavyweights. Froot Loops, the lone survivor from the Wheaties region, squared off against the Special K region champ Cap’n Crunch Berries.
Lindsey had voted for the winning cereal in each of the preceding 14 matches, so odds makers anxiously awaited her vote. Tension mounted when she revealed that she had voted for Cap’n Crunch Berries, but in a late charge Froot Loops cornered the final two votes to claim the first-ever Sugar Cereal Championship.
| DESIGN BY
You guys are so much fun!!! What a crack-up. I can only imagine what it was like to grow up in your house!!!
Comment by jenny — August 26, 2007 @ 10:31 pm
Looks so fun!!! Happy Birthday Linny!
Comment by Summer Thacker — August 27, 2007 @ 8:41 am
Holy crap— that would be Maren’s dream come true to devour all the sugar cereals! You guys are hilarious, I love your family.
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